Do you do your gender the same way you do your laundry?
A strange question, one might say, and until recently, I’d be likely to agree. Until I came across excerpts from the books, Undoing Gender, by Judith Butler, and Studying Men and Masculinities, by David Buchbinder. Very interesting reads!!
I was immediately intrigued by Butler’s assertion that gender is not something that one has, rather it is something that one does.
Gender is a kind of a doing, an incessant activity performed, in part, without one’s knowing and without one’s willing… What I call my “own” gender appears perhaps at times as something that I author or, indeed, own. But the terms that make up one’s own gender are, from the start, outside oneself, beyond oneself in a sociality that has no single author… – Judith Butler
This is to say that in essence, from the moment an expecting mother finds out the sex of her bun in the oven, socially constructed expectations set in– choosing a sex-appropriate name, deciding to paint the nursery blue for a boy or pink for a girl, the list goes on. And once the child is born the gender roles continue to form: GI Joe and dump trucks vs. Barbie and toy kitchen sets; even the way we describe sexes – boys are handsome and girls are pretty. Gender-based expectations are imposed upon us and follow us throughout our lives – in our clothing choices, career choices, mate and life partner choices, interests and hobbies, etc. Each and every day, when we get dressed, the way we sit or stand, our facial expressions and mannerisms, are extensions of our gender performance. Yes, we have the choice to perform, or do, our gender how we choose, as long as we stay within our respective lanes, or as Butler put it, improvisation within a sea of constraint.
That is why one cannot claim to own their gender. How can you assume total ownership over something that also belongs to millions of other people? It’s impossible! Sadly, gender is not something we own individually, instead it is something that is given to us, a socially constructed box into which we are inserted.
We should note that there is no necessary connection between the morphology of sex (male or female) and the combination of behavior and attitude that we call gender (masculinity or femininity). However, the culture ensures through a number of measures that its members believe in and subscribe to such a connection. – David Buchbinder
The question is, why must everything and everyone fit into concrete boxes and categories? Simply because it’s more comfortable to easily know how to interact with one another based upon our internalized preconceived notions and assumptions? Probably. We invoke gender roles in the very way we address and interface with one another. Buchbinder defines this as, interpellation, which I simplify as generalize and impose. We sum up others and then address them with our assumption, hence imposing our beliefs and concepts on the other and expecting them to accept the conjecture and respond accordingly.
Advertisements for laundry detergents have traditionally targeted (interpellated) women as the people responsible for the well-being of the domestic household… efficient and competent in the maintenance and smooth running of the house. Her proper place, therefore, is in the home; this is where she best fulfils her role, even if she is also a worker outside the home. – Buchbinder
Sounds like something straight out of the fifties, if you ask me… So let’s look at a laundry detergent ad from the 50’s.
The “I thought little girls were supposed to be dainty,” comment demonstrates just in fact how early we become socialized into gender roles. The singing, smiling, happy family at the end is exactly the interpellation Buchbinder is referring to, that obviously, buying the best detergent possible to clean her family’s clothes is the ultimate demonstration of the wife and mother’s love, adoration and concern for her family. Their happiness being the ultimate prize and their clean laundry the trophy. Thanks FAB for that real Borax!
I thought to myself, ‘surely this is just an outdated reference’, there couldn’t be anything this drastically sexist in this millennium! So let’s look at a more recent ad.
Now we’ve got the ‘tough moms’, pretty much kicking butt and taking names – while cooking, couponing, and of course doing laundry. Essentially the same social codes, but wrapped in a more badass package. This is somewhat an improvement from the first ad in that it portrays the women in a manner more realistically in line with modern times – no crisp, spic-and-span dresses and definitely no singing. Instead we have more ‘masculine’ women – grilling and digging ditches – but still having the same goal of clean laundry for a happy family. (note: even attributing grilling and digging ditches as masculine activities is interpellation; see it’s almost unavoidable!)
This recent ad was one small step for woman… but a giant leap for womankind would have been a man doing the laundry!
At the end of the day, it’s not the end of the world if someone decides to throw all of their laundry into the same wash load instead of conventionally separating into well defined categories. Why can’t gender be the same way? Essentially, we should each feel empowered to ‘do’ gender as we see fit – whether that means frilly white dresses or digging ditches – with the ability to live life independently of socially constructed constraints.
So whether it’s your laundry or your gender – just make sure you do it, and do it well 😉
PS – betcha can’t tell the male from the female…
…find out here!
- Gender and Sexuality (assylum2013.wordpress.com)
- Big Question: Is there such a thing as free choice? (genderandsociety2013.wordpress.com)
- Baby X (genderfocus.wordpress.com)
- Gender Equality (blueyellowpinkthoughts.wordpress.com)